One of the most common questions/concerns I see in the online support groups I work with and in person is: “My husband/partner is concerned that if I nurse, he won’t be able to help with feedings.” While feeding a new baby is definitely an important task, it’s not the ONLY task. Baby feeding at the breast does not in any way negate the importance of the non lactating parent. Here’s a few things Dad/Mommy/Partner can do to foster a bond with baby and normalize breastfeeding!
#DaddyCanDo
(Hashtag originally created by Nzinga Jones of Black Breastfeeding Mamas Circle)
Daddy/Mommy/Partner can:
• Do bath time
• Do bedtime routine
• Bring baby to Mama if not co-sleeping/bed sharing
• Watch baby while Mama showers/takes a quick nap
• Be in charge of all non-emergent doctor visits (A big one in the Clark Household)
• Wash pump parts (Daddy Clark is GREAT with this one)
• Wash bottles
• Cook dinner
• Do grocery shopping
• Do baby’s laundry
• Prep bottles for daycare
• Let Mama go first when asking “How was your day?”
• Ask how her day was
• Apologize for her day being sucky even if you didn’t have anything to do with it
• Ask her if she’s ok. All the time. Constantly. Even when she says she is, offer to help out.
• Encourage her. Tell her she’s doing a good job. Chances are, she thinks she isn’t.
• Share your T-shirts. Y’all got us in this pregnant situation, let us be comfy in your oversized shirts.
• Be open minded about breastfeeding.
• Be open minded and willing to compromise on parenting decisions.
• Hear her out.
• Don’t add to the pressures that society places on us. We have to deal with opinions about breastfeeding day in and day out. Don’t make us hear them at home.
• Stand up for her when she’s challenged about breastfeeding or parenting in general. E S P E C I A L L Y if it’s YOUR family doing the challenging.
• Be there. Be present. Mentally and Physically.
This woman is taking care of your child, day in and day out. That is mentally and physically taxing. MAKE SURE SHE IS OK. This is how you build a bond with your child. By ensuring his/her mother is ok.
Daddy and SonShine at his first dentist appointment (6months)